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Jarvis D. Eleutherus
17 September 2007 @ 02:47 pm
I cannot believe the impertenance of some people. I just finished firing another idiot today, and this one more than deserved it. Not only did he waste company supplies and time by producing several small flyers featuring yours truly and a photo of a Jeffery Marsh, but he had the gall to compare us! "Twins separated at birth???!?!?!?!11?!" is NOT an acceptable catch phrase, either!! We look nothing alike, either, this Jeffery Marsh and I. I would not be caught dead, alive, or otherwise in a dress like that!! Delores bitched at me about that, saying that I wasn't born in a suit, but that is perfectly logical from this bubble. And she shouldn't criticize others' dress when she herself exposes more than is healthy for any creature. She also agreed with that bastard! She claims that we look exactly alike. I just don't see it. Just because two men are bald, it does not mean that they look alike! Imbecilic people need to open their eyes!!

I keep no photographs of myself on the computer, but I present a photo of Jeffery Marsh, the one from the poster. The photograph of me was taken to try and resemble this, but a profile shot of me yelling at someone doesn't really capture that. He could have at least executed this idiotic plan a little better.

Current Place of Employment: office
Mood of the Moment: pissed offpissed off
On the Radio: Delores bitching from the other side of the office door
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
16 September 2007 @ 05:00 pm
Another big meeting is coming up, and I'm trying to get a five-star hotel booked that has something other than just fruit and 'healthy' cereals for breakfast selections. The last time that happened I attempted a fruit item, but ended up just playing around with it on a spoon, but this eventually proved fruitful in itself, as letting the fruit sit atop a candle for a while caused the sugars to boil to the top, allowing me to scrape it off. I suppose one could call that 'forraging' for my own sustinance. (Places need to accommodate to finer tastes anyway; narrow selections like that will be the death of them!)

Current Place of Employment: office
Mood of the Moment: pissed offvexed
On the Radio: hotel manager's pleas for forgiveness
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
08 August 2007 @ 02:19 am
I haven't updated this thing in a while(Yet again,) but now I feel it important to type something somewhere opposed to strangling the idiot that not only caused a major filing error, but also stole my last Starburst, which was clearly labeled as being mine!!!!!! The INSTANT I find out who it was, he or she will greatly regret it!! I have no time now to run down to the local Kwik-e-Mart to buy another package( which is also a waste of my money, never mind that I was going to buy another one anyway!!), and someone has also hidden my shoes, that someone being my right and left hand men, namely because they don't want me throwing them at the group of imbeciles that tried to turn in a stack of kidergarten-grade 'art' as their final project outline for a new job I managed to wrangle in. Aweful. Just Aweful. Another late night, and I doubt that anyone would think to bring me a gallon or two of that icecream frozen into little balls or cottoncandy or something oozing with sugar and vitality, something with more effort in it than a stack of pasted-together bits of nothing!! I may need to break into my secret stores, which I believe have been running low of late... I hope for their sake that I have at least three bags of Skittles, because otherwise things could be turning for the worst.

Current Place of Employment: the office
Mood of the Moment: crankycranky
On the Radio: screams of despair from underlings
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
13 April 2007 @ 02:22 am
It's been nearly a month since I touched this thing. To think that I nearly escaped it! Meh. I've been busy with things, and updating drifted down on my list of anything vaguely important. It's nearing 2:30 AM now, though, and I'm waiting on my water to boil for tea to keep me from going hoarse yelling at these idiots that deleted a month's worth of work. Again, I owe Dax and Mel far more than I'd like, as they've stayed behind and are working at full capacity. Interesting that they lack this level of diligence during the rest of the week... No one goes home until it's done. I refuse to budge on that. I bought them all dinner (granted, cheap dinner, but food that one could eat without growing a tentacle or claw, so "dinner" nonetheless), set them up with coffee and tea for caffeine, and I've been fairly patient with them considering the hell that they've wreaked on the system. Everything will be perfect or better by morning, or heads roll right on out that door. And they better not expect to be paid if they go home in the morning, either. They're the ones that fucked up!!! I shouldn't have to pay them for making mistakes! That's just plain bad business. I need to get my tea ready, so I'm off. With any luck, I won't need to stop back again for a while, but with these failures, who knows?

Current Place of Employment: office
Mood of the Moment: pissed offpissed
On the Radio: boiling water
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
19 March 2007 @ 01:27 pm
Orsen Wells was genius. Pretnetious, moody, fickle, and drunk, yes. But brilliant nonetheless. Dax sent me a link to mix made by James Urbaniak and his brother using Orsen's rage-filled talents. The world of advertising needs more people like him, but we're still stuck with the asses wanting you to put emphasis on in in "in July." The world mourns its loss, Orsen, and we do miss you.

Otherwise, things have been going surprisingly well... it's unsettling. Delores called in sick but sent in everything I needed, so no harm was done there; I have a few big things coming up to pester people about, but I'll give them until Wednesday so that they feel all safe about making weekend plans before dashing all hope.

I'm going to put Citizen Kane on tonight and enjoy this drear while I can.

And also, apologies for blowing off the end of the whole funeral fiasco- it all went so horribly horrid that I thought to just forget about mentioning anything at all. We left as soon as the last service was over, and Delores was amazingly silent until the plane took off. It's astounding how people change when they suddenly understand what you were trying to tell them days ago; then they decide to feel bad about it and apologize and try and make it up to you and this and that. People can be such bothers, but at least we won't be doing that ever again.

Current Place of Employment: office
Mood of the Moment: blankneutral
On the Radio: the lovely sound of work getting done
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
08 March 2007 @ 05:55 pm

A friend recently sent me this song; despite said friend's obvious insanity, I rather enjoy it. Who doesn't want to be a millionaire? Swimming in money is also an interesting concept, oddly Draconian though the drowning possibilities be. Either way, ich waer so gerne Millionaer!

Mood of the Moment: draineddrained
On the Radio: Millionaer ~ Die Prinzen
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
07 March 2007 @ 11:15 pm

I don't think parents are very receptive of anything their offspring say to them. Ever. My father tried to get me to make some sort of speech, so I gave a little impromtu moving one, but, despite having everyone in tears, he still yelled about it later. Apparently my lack of sincerity was slightly transparent, or perhaps he noticed that I didn't want to bother with any of it. I guess it looks better on paper, anyway; "Man gives stirring send-off for dead, emotionally negligent mother. Audience in tears." That sells while the more honest "Man bullshits for ten minutes about how great a woman referred to as his mother was" doesn't appeal to the masses very well at all. There's one more showing before they finally drop her in the hole, and then I can probably fade into the corner and fly back with Delores before she decides that my father needs something as laughable as 'emotional support.' {note that she smacked me for my speech after everyone had left in addition to the hot little earful I recieved, but her prattling on about her having been my mother of all people, and that I should care and be sad and cry and put flowers on her grave when it's raining and stand there in black with tears running smoothly and cleaning down my painfully contorted face and this and that and she really didn't like the part where I said that I could become Batman if my father kicked it soon. But, really, what loss is that anyway? She cried a bit about my lack of emotions toward my parental beings, but it really shouldn't bother her; she didn't grow up with them trying to force strippers at her introduce her to the culture of the sexuals through more or less coercive means.} She felt better after I treated her to dinner, but she thought the little pub place we visited with our business was somehow romantic and enjoyed making things awkward by teasing me about it. Hence why I asked for separate checks; I did pay for hers, but it effectively jabbed her enough to unfortunately provoke the brining out of proverbially bigger guns- she insisted on clinging to my arm and moaning in the most offensive fashion the entire way back to the hotel(it was close enough to walk to the pub), disturbing more than a few passerbys. I should know by now that she fights dirty. haha a pun

Current Place of Employment: hotel
Mood of the Moment: aggravatedaggravated
On the Radio: Aura sample songs I heard about from a community on here
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
You are 100% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 100% Brutal, and 100% Arrogant.
You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You are confident and capable of social interaction, but you prefer the silence of dead bodies to the loud, twittering nitwits you normally encounter in your daily life. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you with a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, so tiny and small. You take great pleasure in the misery of others, and there is nothing sweeter to you than the sweet glory of using someone else's shattered failure to project yourself to success. Except sugar. That just may be sweeter. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don't kill me for writing mean things about you! I have a 101 mile-long knife! Don't make me use it!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.


Your exact opposite is the Hippie.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Spiteful Loner, the Smartass, and the Capitalist Pig.



If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

About Saint_Gasoline

I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.

This test tracked 4 variables. How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 94% on Rationality

Higher than 0% on Extroversion

Higher than 97% on Brutality

Higher than 98% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid

So this gauges me as a grade-S freak, fully capable of murdering the hell out of everyone. I think I can live with that. =) Delores and I arrived a few hours ago, I had a bit of a run-in with my father, and now we're staying at a hotel. (Advice: never EVER imply things to your son about the voluptuous woman he happens to work with. Nothing. It isn't funny. At all. And, yes, she'd make an awful mother.) I couldn't help but be an "asshole" as Delores so aptly put it on the ride here, but it was justified. Gah, I can't wait to get this over with and be OUT of here... These things are always such a pain.

Current Place of Employment: hotel
Mood of the Moment: exhaustedexhausted, amused, and miffed
On the Radio: some awful techno thing that Delores has on
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
I'm leaving tomorrow morning at six to catch the flight with Delores back to my little no-name town to see Mother off. I don't think I even care at this point, but I know that's a lie. I can't sleep even though everything is ready, including the shipment of flowers to place on her grave. (I had the closest major flourist do a nice arrangement with a lot of yellows and oranges since she seemed to like those colours; the family will appreciate it and hopefully shut the hell up, anyway.) I've been trying to stop myself, but Transient has been on repeat all night, which is never a good thing with me. Hopefully the stay will be short; a day or two and then back here to the lovely grind of things... I prefer having my nerves eaten alive by these idiots than the ones back "home", but I have little choice in the matter thanks to Delores. I tried sketching some earlier to relieve some stress, but everything turned into Nixon strangling Delores, Delores having a change of heart, or something exploding with a random superhero in stereotypical garb swooping in to save the day, often from a villianess that had a sneaky resemblance to one Delores Kasey. I did some nice colour character sketches for a few of them, and I might gift one to Delores if I can't find a cheap alternative by the time she starts demanding something. (The holidays always roll around in a flurry of gleefully rushed commercials and misleading products!) ~JE
Current Place of Employment: sofa with tea [Earl Grey, black, for once]
Mood of the Moment: depressedzombie
On the Radio: Transient ~Orbital, Blue Album
Jarvis D. Eleutherus
I recieved an email today containing this article on evaluating whether or not one has a good boss. I could take this as a subtle hint that I'm too strict and don't listen enough to the righteous pleas of my workers, but I prefer to see it as an effective leader's matyring way of ignoring the complaints of those bound under his servitude. (They complain too much anyway. Who needs a larger donut selection?!? No one! They're eating and drinking coffee too much anyway; I may need to look into one of those Japanese plans where we have a required exercise time added into the schedule, with a small reduction on the side of donut money, which, according to statistics, should increase productivity, health, attitude, and many another thing.) I also ironically found a printed version of the email slid under my door when I returned from a morning meeting, with the sections on trust and listening sloppilly highlighted. A lovely waste of company resources. The next time someone asks me to trust them I may just throw out the suggested "good boss" line before throwing the idiot into a hell project with no direction whatsoever. "Tell me when you think you're ready; I'll give you guidelines and be available only when you need me" is a load of finely polished crap; I have workers I can trust, but most of them here think themselves able-bodied when in fact they're missing a few limbs and are obscenely disabled when it comes to operating simple machines like computer programs they should be familiar with and scissors. Dax is refusing to tell me who sent the original email since the individual was talented enough to recall my itchy trigger finger when it comes to rebels, so he or she sent it through him using the little private database he's made for workers. (Which three skilled hackers and a virus program have all failed miserably at opening. A man has some right to worry when half the webpage is devoted to gossip and rumors about him, and he can't access the thing at all to at least see what rabid ideas are going around on the web and not around the water cooler.) At least Dax admitted that I'm very good about treating my employees according to their abilities, and even Mel chipped in a word or two on my overall fairness. (Of course here they had to point out my partialness to them, which won them another project to complete, but I do admit to confiding in them speaking with them on a regular basis as more than employees.) I inquired as to my listening abilities, but they were less forthcoming about this, and admitted that I often sometimes trample ideas that I don't like. It's still annoying to have a little pest sneaking about without the backbone to confront me personally about their problems with how I run things, but chances are high enough that I'll get the perpetraitor via firing squad soon enough.

Current Place of Employment: office
Mood of the Moment: amusedamused yet miffed
On the Radio: Orbital again- it's keeping me from yelling at them all